-_-

Bad day ever -_-
Hmmmmm -_-"
Why always feel this? Whatever I had said never you hear, never you care. Just think that I never tell anything. How I can like to ask you if you always never hear me? You just want I hear you but you never wanna hear me. Always always and always !
I've told to you. Who said that? ME! You just think I'm a little girl that can't do anything, isn't it? I'm not a child!! I can do that! Why no one trust me? Is there something wrong in my face? Is there something wrong? Just tell me why you always do that!
And then why always everything that's not true alwayss alwayss and always supposed I do the wrong? Why always me? I just like to be your doll that can close you fault and I do that fault. That's not my fault please. Why no one trust it? Is my face like a criminal? That's not funny! I'm not stupid like you think, I have a brain which is functional, full functional! I hate it!! Really hate ...!
Such as a little bastard you know. How dare you are ...

.....

Yah yah yah..
I don't know what should I do. I'm just feel very tired with everything in my life...
Anybody can answer 1 my question. So easy question.... When I can feel free and be my self again? Just it....
Maybe this is like a crazy question, but it's from my heart. Why I must feel this? Why just me feel this? Why me? There's someone beside me, why don't her? Why me? Why always me? Why everything that I do always wrong, always false, always always always me?? Why I can't say what I feel? Why I can't say everything such as I'm not in this place? Why I can't feel comfortable like I'm in another place and with another people? So different... Such as be a different people... Just like a trash.....
How long I must be a different people like this? So tired...
Maybe 4 years again I must feel like this.. ohhhhhh God.. Give me a power.
Hmmm, maybe just a miracle that can make me strong to do all of this. So long time, so long, so tired, so hate, really really hate all of this. Really hate myself. Don't know what should I do now. Cry? That's not enough! You know how much my tears that ever fall because it? Such as not important again in my life! Really not important and just make a trouble!!! Like a troublemaker.. hahahaha
And now I know that I can be a different girl when the situation like this...
Really difficult to smile when your heart is broke you know..
So easy to speak but so difficult to do.... :')

Kiss The Rain

I often close my eyes
Aku sering menutup mata
And I can see you smile
Dan aku bisa melihat kau tersenyum
You reach out for my hand
Kau menjangkau tanganku
And I'm woken from my dream
Dan aku terbangun dari mimpiku

Although your heart is mine
Meskipun hatimu milikku
It's hollow inside
Ini kosong di dalam
I never had your love
aku tidak pernah memiliki cintamu

And I never will
dan aku tak akan pernah
And every night
Dan setiap malam
I lie awake
Aku berbaring terjaga
Thinking maybe you love me
Berpikir mungkin kau mencintaiku
Like I've always loved you
Seperti aku selalu mencintaimu
But how can you love me
Tapi bagaimana bisa kau mencintaiku?
Like I loved you when
Seperti aku mencintaimu ketika
You can't even look me straight in my eyes
Kau bahkan tidak bisa menatap lurus di mataku
I've never felt this way
Aku tidak pernah merasa seperti ini
To be so in love
Untuk menjadi begitu cinta
To have someone there
Untuk memiliki seseorang di sana
Yet feel so alone
Namun merasa begitu sendirian
Aren't you supposed to be
Bukankah kau seharusnya menjadi

The one to wipe my tears
Seseorang untuk menyeka air mataku
The one to say that you would never leave
Seseorang untuk mengatakan bahwa kau tidak akan pernah meninggalkan
The waters calm and still
Airnya tenang dan tetap
My reflection is there
Bayanganku ada di sana
I see you holding me
Aku melihat kau menopangku
But then you disappear
Tapi kemudian kau hilang
All that is left of you
Semua yang tertinggal darimu
Is a memory
Adalah sebuah memori
One that only, exists in my dreams
Satu-satunya yang hanya ada dalam mimpiku
I don't know what hurts you
Aku tidak tahu apa yang menyakitimu
But I can feel it too
Tapi aku bisa merasakannya juga
And it just hurts so much
Dan itu sangat menyakitkan
To know that I can't do a thing
Untuk mengetahui bahwa aku tak dapat melakukan apapun
And deep down in my heart
Dan jauh di dalam lubuk hatiku
Somehow I just know
Entah bagaimana aku tahu
That no matter what
Bahwa apa pun yang terjadi
I'll always love you
AKU AKAN SELALU MENCINTAIMU